Short Skirts and Armpit Sweat

Over the weekend we spent some much needed time catching up with two of our best friends. They are busy, we are busy, life gets in the way – you know how it is. Pretty soon half a year has gone by and you’re left wondering where the hell time went. Anyway, a new restaurant/club opened up in the downtown core and we decided to venture out of suburbiaville to try something new. This place was a twenty five and older type of joint. This is a good thing. My friend is a teacher and the last thing you want is to run into your students trying to get into a bar with a fake ID, then witness you letting loose. Oh God the embarrassment. No, you should never actually see that your teachers have a life. There’s just something so wrong about that.

Anyway, as we ate, laughed and told stories about what has been going on in our lives, we all performed the ‘seat dance’ at our table. The music in this place was awesome. Think Dance Mix 94. I’m not kidding. Each time a new song came on, we’d all stop for a second to recognize then a big “oh my God, I love this song” would escape from someone’s lips…then the seat dancing would continue. After awhile we decided to check out the dance scene so we ventured up the stairs to a second level. The dancing was amazing. How can it not be with such great music? But, I’m not really blogging about the dancing or the music. The real point to this blog is the girls.

I haven’t been ‘clubbing’ in a long time. Actually, I’m not much of a clubber to begin with. I’ve always been more of a pub/kitchen party kind of girl. But even when I did go to clubs, I remember the usual club attire being something like a pair of jeans and a bar top like a tank or something. If it was a ‘higher end’ club we would wear black pants and a top. The point was never to look sexy, it was to get drunk and have fun. Well, let me tell you something…the mini dress has become the new black pants. I was shocked. Almost every girl in this club was dressed up like they were attending a winter carnival dance…mind you it would have been a sluttier version of a carnival dance. They had up dos and perfectly applied make up. I felt very under dressed and uncomfortable in my jeans and long sleeved t-shirt. I guess this is a sign of the changing times. Girls like to dress up in skimpy tight dresses to go clubbing in hopes of looking super sexy and ‘picking up.’

I once read in a book that women will subconsciously dress scantily when they are ovulating because it’s nature’s way of attracting the opposite sex to ultimately procreate and at that time they are most attracted to the smell of a man’s armpit sweat. The only conclusion I can come to is that there was some serious mass ovulation going on in this club.

The boys shouldn’t be left off the hook either. Although most of them were pretty normal in jeans and button up shirts, we did witness a few that had been slapped with the Jersey Shore pandemic. They had the spiked up hair, steroid induced biceps, fake tans and I’m sure a closet full of Le Chateau for Men. My husband went to the bathroom at one point in the night and witnessed two Jersey Shore’s complementing each other on their hair. Oh God help the youth of our nation.

In the end, the only thing that matters was that we had an awesome time with our friends. Cheers to that.